The Mental Jukebox 1.9.8

Still in the hotel. I told Cootiebug today, "It's starting to feel like 'Sid and Nancy' except there's no heroin and we're at the Hampton instead of the Chelsea."
Allegedly, in three weeks, we'll be home.
Can I reiterate we've been here since November?
Okay, then.

And the FSOTD is...

Closing Time-- Semisonic
I know who I want to take me home.

Hell's Shovel-- Cutthroat Shamrock
By the gods, I can't get this song out of my head! I absolutely friggin' love it. What'chu gonna do?

Florida-- Modest Mouse
Still like this one. It popped into my head, and I know not why. Welcome to the entire point of my blog.

New Girl Now-- Honeymoon Suite
Do you know why nobody remembers this '80's band? They're Canadian. They aren't on some shitty reality show on VH1. And their music was actually pretty good. "I've got a new girl now and she's a lot like you." Take that, random bimbo!

Hairshirt-- REM
From (in my opinion) the last great REM album, this song brings to mind some kind of weird mandolin innocence mixed with the gritty intensities of forensics. "Run a carbon black test on my jaw." Yeah, I know what he means, but ewwww. Hang this hairshirt on the highest rung.

Moneymaker-- Rilo Kiley
And sometimes, my brain hates me. When it plays this song, it wants to me to put on a wet suit, shove an English cucumber up my arse and hang myself from the closet rod.

Lullabye of Broadway-- Ethel Merman
What.
The.
Fuck.

Eastern Bloc-- Thomas Dolby
This is the sequel to the song that rolled through my head next...

Europa and the Pirate Twins-- Thomas Dolby
Can we get some love for Thomas Dolby, please? And can my brain get some applause for absolute creativity? A doubleshot of Dolby for me? Thank you. Thank you so much. When people talk about musical pioneers and don't talk about Thomas Dolby, they do the universe an injustice. Yeah, it's new wave, but it still holds up today, quite strongly.

Don't Pass Me By-- The Beatles
This song shows up more than I really want it to. So what strange hold does this band have on me? How did they become some kind of emotional support system for me? I'm really beginning to believe that with the consistent playing of this song and "Across the Universe," The Beatles are the security blanket of the Mental Jukebox.


You need some Dolby. You need it right now. We'll be the pirate twins again.

The Mental Jukebox Tuesday 12.25.7

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas or don't particularly enjoy Christmas music, "you" in this case meaning me, there are still some holiday tunes worth mentioning. And while "Jingle Bells" may not stick in my head, here are the Christmas songs you can find in rotation here on the Mental Jukebox.

Christmas in Hollis-- Run-DMC

Not only is this song used in one of my favorite holiday movies, "Die Hard," but it happens to bump just as hard as it did back in the day. A poignant reflection of holidays past, present and future, this early hip-hop holiday classic mentions collard greens without any hint of irony. Kudos for that.

Here It Is Christmas Time-- The Old 97's

Oh, come on. It's cute. And it has clever wordplay. And it makes you totally want to wrap the whole band up in some kind of soft goateed cowboy hat. "You" in this case meaning you.

Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy-- Buck Owens

While exemplifying the Bakersfield sound at its peak, this song is truly frightening. Think of it as the birth of so many phobias. An Oedipal complex, perhaps an Electra complex, too... an unbreakable connexion between Christmas trees and foreplay... perhaps some confusion-- if Santa looks like Daddy, why the hell does he want me to sit on his lap, "me" in this case meaning me? And if I tell Mommy "what I know," will I get in trouble? Dammit! Now I'm a transvestite and I fucking hate Christmas, "I'm" in this case meaning someone I made up.

I Want A Mistress for Christmas-- AC/DC

And I hope you went shopping.

Favorite Holiday song of all time? Easy.
Here's Fairytale of New York by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl. Enjoy it, you maggots, you cheap lousy faggots.



And may your gods, whomever they are, bless you, every one.

The Mental Jukebox Thursday 12.20.07

This is actually only a partial list because I am a doofus. I left my list at work, right there on my desk, with a big friggin' PostIt note on the cover that says, "Take this with you!" So, with the exception of the FSOTD (First Song of the Day)and maybe two others, these are all songs from tonight.

Soon We'll Be Living In The Future-- Straylight Run

I don't wanna like it! It's all catchy and pseudo-profound with overtones of Motion City Soundtrack! Yeah, it rocks a lot.

Yakety Sax-- Boots Randolph

If you're an old fart like me, you're thinking Benny Hill. If you're my kid, you're thinking Stewie's sexy party. Both are equally correct.

Here It Is Christmas Time-- Old 97's

One of the best Christmas songs ever? Don't know. But it's climbing up my list.

You're the One That I Want-- John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John

I don't know, man. I just don't know.

All the Things That Go To Make Heaven and Earth-- The New Pornographers

Neko Case is in this band. 'nuff said.

Honky Tonk Man-- Dwight Yoakum

Really, who doesn't love Dwight Yoakum? Who is willing to look me in the eye and say they don't love Dwight Yoakum? That's what I thought.

Jesus Just Left Chicago-- ZZ Top

Dwight Yoakum could kick Billy Gibbons' ass. Amazing war-beard notwithstanding.

Burn Down the Malls-- Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper

These guys were the rockabilly Matt Taibbi of the '80's. Go no further than "I Saw Jesus At McDonald's At Midnight" for a life-changing experience.

Montana-- Frank Zappa

When Frank says, "I'm gonna buy me a horse/Just about this big," you know just how big he means. Yippee-ki-yo-ki-yay.

I was at West Town Mall until almost eleven o'clock tonight. Four fucking hours in the madness and the stink. Take it away, Mojo and Skid...

The Mental Jukebox-- Wednesday 12.12.7

My apologies to all four of you who read this for the late post.

Gemini Dream-- The Moody Blues
Windowsill-- Arcade Fire
Breakfast in America-- Supertramp
Major Tom (Coming Home)-- Peter Schilling
At A Medium Pace-- Adam Sandler
Los Angeles-- X
Whatever, Wherever-- Shakira

And I know I fucked up the title of that Shakira song and you'll just have to forgive me for not caring a whit. It's Shakira. The presence of her music in my head is unwelcome and proof that my brain wants to kill me.

Something To Fall Back On-- Todd Rundgren
Human-- Human League
Eat The Rich-- Aerosmith
Sweet Leaf-- Black Sabbath
Who Are The Brain Police?-- Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention


Punk used to mean something. In my poor little head, it still does.

The Mental Jukebox-- Tuesday 12.11.7

Still haven't been able to go back home since the fire and blogging seems to help take my mind off that. So here is the first post-house fire edition of The Mental Jukebox.

And, looking back over that, apparently one of the things I lost in the fire was the ability to write a decent lead. Are you still here? Even after that?

Masochist.

Right then. On we go.

FSOTD Honours go to...

Jane-- Jefferson Starship
She's playing a game. She's playing a game. She's playing a game. She's playing a gaaaaaaame. Ooof.

Hot Kiss-- Juliette and the Licks
Okay. WUTK played that song this morning. However, I had been thinking of the video before the song came on. Before I was in the truck. Earlier in the day. When I was showering. Juliette Lewis. Crazy. Hot. Crazy hot.

Do Ya Think I'm Sexy-- Revolting Cocks
Don't Believe the Hype-- Public Enemy
Kickapoo-- Tenacious D
Cut Your Hair-- Pavement
On A Plain-- Nirvana

That Nirvana song was in my head for a good hour and a half. Just the last fading bits of the chorus. The "ooh-ooh" started to echo after a while.

Heartbreaker-- Led Zeppelin
And not "Livin' Lovin' Maid." They are not the same song. Check your album listing for further details, thank you very much.

And now, today's disco mystery... the line is, "...but I never get the chance/cuz all I do is dance/my mama says my brains are in my feet."
That explains the migraines, but doesn't tell me what the song is or who it is by. I have the distinct feeling the band is Chic, but I cannot verify that. Anyone want to do a brother a solid and name that tune?

Phantom Limb-- The Shins
You ever listen to the Shins? It'll change your life.

Tick Tick Boom-- The Hives
You ever listen to the Hives? It'll make you wish you were listening to the Shins.

Hell's Shovel-- Cutthroat Shamrock
Local boys do wonderful things with beer and a stand-up bass. The closest thing KnoxVegas will get to a Flogging Molly appearance.

Jesus Chrysler Drives A Dodge-- Screaming Blue Messiahs
Freedom Rock-- Frank Black


You have no idea how badly I wanted to post that Screaming Blue Messiahs video, but I could not find one. And I couldn't post the Juliette and the Licks video because I'm feeling all possessive and stalkeriffic.
So here's Al Jourgenson, Chris Connelly and some zombie strippers.
Kick ass.

The Mental Jukebox-- Tuesday 11.27.7

This was the day that would not end. It just went on and on, my friends. And on a day when I really needed to hear Across the Universe, it didn't show up at all. Thanks, Mental Jukebox. Thanks a lot.

Here's what did play. It's a shorter list than yesterday's list, which is probably a good thing. Or bad. It depends on how much you enjoy the blog, I suppose.

It's A Sin-- Pet Shop Boys

Again, you can always count on the first song of the day to be totally out of left field... I think maybe the FSOTD is a remnant from the last dream you had before waking. Geez... enough kosmic debris for you? Next, I'll be asking koans. Sorry. On we go.

Little Boxes-- Pete Seeger

That one is your fault, Ebenezer. All you.

What's Left of Me-- Nick Lachey

WHY? WHY? WHY? Not the song I needed to hear when the phones are ringing off the hook at work, because when I hear it, I want to be underlit, cry just a little, make a fist and pull it slowly down in front of my face to show you my manly pain. And it needs to be raining. Inside. On my phone. "Sorry," I say to the guy on the phone as I make another fist, "I can't talk right now. It's raining inside and my heart is breaking. Let me connect you to Customer Service."

I Get Around-- The Beach Boys
Signals Over the Air-- Thursday

I know I'm headed towards 40 and I'm not supposed to like Thursday.
I like Thursday.

All The Kids Are Right-- Local H
You're Wrong-- NOFX
Lost Without Your Love-- Bread

If you're old enough to remember not only the band, but the people hosting the television show this clip is taken from, you shouldn't like Thursday. But I hope you do. And I hope you'll comment me. It makes me happy.

The Mental Jukebox-- Monday 11.26.7

Not only was it a Monday, but it was indeed a rainy day. Amazingly enough, I only just now made that connection. No Carpenters on the list today, but a bunch of other stuff. It's a new week! Let the weirdness begin.

Carolina In My Mind-- James Taylor

The first song of the day always confuses me. It's like whacking an old TV on the side until the picture comes in clearly. That first song is the mental jukebox equivalent of static.

Southern California-- Wax
San Ber'dino-- Frank Zappa
Like to Get to Know You-- Spanky and our Gang
Jerkin' Back and Forth-- Devo
Fairytale of New York-- STARS

Again with the STARS cover? This must be my head's way of coercing me into the holiday spirit. Come on. I put a few lights up out by the driveway. What else do you want from me? Ho, ho, ho.

Hold On-- Yes
Deeper and Deeper-- The Fixx
My Cheri Amour-- Stevie Wonder
Black Velvet-- Alannah Myles

As I said when I started this mess, you don't have to like a song for it to play in the mental jukebox.

No Time-- Guess Who
If Ever I See You Again-- Roberta Flack
Existential Blues Pt. 2-- Tom "T-Bone" Stankus
Disenchanted-- Gary Morris
Talk About the Passion-- R.E.M.
Bittersweet Me-- R.E.M.

Those two R.E.M. songs there? Same friggin' song. Guarantee it. You can combine them into one ten minute long song and never realize you've done it. I know this because I did. Today. Over and over for about an hour. Easy in, easy out. I'm tired and naked.

Bring The Boys Back Home-- Pink Floyd

I saw ten seconds of Fox News in the break room. That's what happens.

You Better Run-- Pat Benatar
Yeah, Right-- Dinosaur Jr.
Rehab-- Amy Winehouse

It was so hard to choose a video for today's post, but I used to have nightmares about Randy Bachman.

The Mental Jukebox-- Sunday 11.25.7

Hey, it's Sunday. I have to go back to work in the morning. Yuck.
Anyway, my songs... let me show you them.

Two Princes-- Spin Doctors
Not the sign of a good day headed your way. Imagine you wake up and the first thing you hear is the high pitched voice of a Neo-Hippie singing, "Ba-did-a-dip! Da-dip-dip-da-dip-do-bada-beeda-bada-bada-doda-mona-mona-mona-mona."
How to deal with that? Just remember, kids, that it is never too early in the day to start drinking.

I'll Provide the Love-- Toto
Across the Universe-- Beatles

Once again, my Moment of Zen...

Everything Will Be Alright-- Killers

Possibly a complementary tune to the previous one. Or sarcasm so arch even I didn't pick up on it.

To Live and Die in L.A.-- Wang Chung
Next Time That You Leave-- Bob Mould
Oh, Darling-- Beatles
Shake Your Groove Thing-- Peaches and Herb
nod + lean-- stolen sheep
Is She Weird?-- Pixies

We need to discuss Wang Chung for a moment. They put out three major albums here in the States. The first one, "Points on the Curve," yielded their first big hit, "Dance Hall Days." I still don't know all the words to that song, but I have loved it for years. (Well, that one line sounds like he's singing, "We were cool for fries." Or "We would pull whore's eyes." I kinda want it to be that last one.) The last album, "Mosaic," is the one with "Everybody Have Fun Tonight." It was the first single from the album... and ultimately the best cut. "Mosaic" is weak sauce. That song, with the unforgettable line, "Everybody Wang Chung tonight," was their biggest and most unfortunate hit. It's the one people still mock, using it to embody everything that was cheesy about the eighties. That's a shame. What people should really be using to embody that is Jon Cryer's hair in "No Small Affair."

In between those two albums, Wang Chung put out an album of remarkable strength and intensity. It is the soundtrack album to the William Friedkin film, "To Live and Die in L.A." The movie was harsh and brutal, with no happy endings and no pat resolutions. The soundtrack, which was half instrumental and half dark pop songs, matched the movie in tone and intent so perfectly that they are synonymous with each other. In that respect, the following song could be right up there with John Williams' "Imperial March" from the "Star Wars" saga or, at the very least, Tenacious D's "Kickapoo."

Show 'em some love. In my opinion, they certainly deserve it.

The Mental Jukebox-- Saturday 11.24.7

That's right, no Jukebox for Friday. There were songs playing in my head but I was too busy engaging in holidalarity to list them as I normally do.
Today, however, is back to business as usual.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas-- Perry Como, I think

No kidding. First song I heard this morning, as soon as I woke up. That filled me with a sense of foreboding. Impending doom. Sweater vests.

Go Now-- Moody Blues

Obviously a hold over from a couple of days ago. When my dad is here, I always think of the Moody Blues.

Gravity Kills-- ABC
Balls to the Wall-- Accept

Again with the Accept! Maybe in my head, something is gearing up for an Accept vs. Scorpions grudgematch.

Goodbye, Earl-- Dixie Chicks
In Bloom-- Nirvana
Horse With No Name-- America
Home Again-- Oingo Boingo

Ah... Home Again... that's a good childhood memory. The music has real tension and urgency, while lyrically there's a hopelessness and slavishness remeniscent of and arguably superior to Synchronicity II.
And check out the hot video! Something is going to happen!
Wait... no, it's not.
There's a possibility of a thing...
No.
Just listen to the song.

The Mental Jukebox-- Thanksgiving edition

If you celebrated this holiday, I really hope you had a good one. Mine was strictly of the awesome. My folks came down from Kentucky to eat with us. We hung out, watched three movies, drank copious amounts of alcohol and ate a lot of food. Good times, good times... the likes of which we haven't had for quite a while.

I cooked everything and my list is really short, but for a holiday, the fact that I even have a list at all is sort of impressive, don't you think?

Legend of a Mind-- Moody Blues
27 Jennifers-- Mike Doughty
In The Valley of Dying Stars-- Superdrag
These Things-- She Wants Revenge

I don't understand why The Beatles and the Rolling Stones get all the glory while bands like The Who and The Moody Blues go underappreciated and practically unnoticed. Here's a classic track from the Moodies, complete with ruffly shirt fronts.

The Mental Jukebox-- Tuesday 11.20.7

There may be some progress being made here! Remember, one of the main goals of this whole experiment was to engage in some self-analysis and there may actually be a couple of patterns emerging. Let's go to the leader board, Ed!

Complicated-- Avril Lavigne
Florida-- Modest Mouse

This is the second day in a row that Florida has been in heavy rotation. It is very possible that I need a vacation. Kind of anti-climactic for a revelation, I realize, but I'm relatively new at this. Cut me some slack.

Stitches-- Orgy
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme-- Black Flag
Kiss Them For Me-- Siouxsie and the Banshees
Too Much Is Enough-- The Raisins

I know it's almost not fair to keep bringing up this Cincinnati band from my youth, but if you're aware that most of this band ended up becoming The Bears, featuring Adrian Belew on vocals and guitar, it makes it all worthwhile. This song is from the Raisins studio album, which my dad mastered.

Growing Up-- blink-182
Circles-- Soul Coughing
Balls to the Wall-- Accept

And how we got from Mike Doughty immediately to German heavy metal, I can't answer for you.

Disappointed-- Public Image, Ltd.
Over My Head-- King's X
Across the Universe-- Beatles

Across the Universe has proven itself to be my Moment of Zen. Whenever I am stressed out or facing an abrupt change of plans in my day, the chorus of this song instantly runs through my head. It is my calmer. It does the job wonderfully. When I hear the line, "Nothing's gonna change my world," I feel better. How sappy is that? And no, I haven't seen the movie yet. That's why Knoxville has a dollar theatre. Pay eight bucks for that? Hmmph. I can wait that shit out.

Universally Speaking-- Red Hot Chili Peppers

Universe trifecta in play.


Hot Fun in the Summertime-- Sly and the Family Stone

Universe trifecta-- fail.

And now the first ever MENTAL JUKEBOX VIDEO DOUBLE SHOT OF HAPPY! And that's enough of that.

There isn't an official video for Florida, so here's almost three minutes of Mega Man.



There is an official video for Circles, but I like this one way better. Of course, the crazy M. Doughty scat-singing breakdown is missing, but on the upside, you don't have to look at M. Doughty. I know it, I know it.